物の哀れ (Mono no Aware)

Looking back, I would have to say that I’m incredibly lucky. Lucky in a lot of instances, which considering my pessimistic personality, is something that I’m not quite used to. I don’t know why, but there’s still this part of me that likes to chip away at any smile I may have and repeat the phrase over and over: You don’t deserve this. My initial near-breakdown and nervousness surrounding my winter holiday in Japan was, like most things with me, something that I built up too much in my head until it warped into a feeling that hinted towards regret […]

Continue Reading

Weekend in Seoul, Summer 2017

Can you tell that my Final Cut Pro trial is coming to an end? Maybe? But, moving on… remember when I first got to Korea back at the end of June and was in Seoul for a little while, doing everything touristy and walking over twenty thousand steps a day? Yes, I said back in June. Basically, that first week was so hectic that I took all the footage, moved the files to my backup drive and never looked back. Yesterday I finally went through that footage, and let me tell you, it was pretty brutal. I don’t want to […]

Continue Reading

On Being Numb

I want to start this post with a warning, for I held back neither in content nor language when it came to discussing these issues. This post is both personal and true, and while some of the things I discuss are raw and unfiltered, I am not reaching out for help here. I continue to speak to a professional in order to work through these issues. If you are at all suicidal or thinking about committing suicide please speak to a professional or call one of the suicide hotlines which I have provided below. Thank you. And I’m sorry if […]

Continue Reading

Christmas in Kyoto

Apologies that it took a couple more days than originally planned to get this uploaded; my only excuse right now is the fact that I’m back at work so I’m lacking a bit in extra time to finish these things. Either way, here you guys go – part 2 of my Kyoto trip. I’m currently editing photos and trying to get the rest of what was saved off my camera posted, so bear with me (once again). xoxo

Continue Reading

Christmas Eve in Kyoto

I’m back home in Korea, a fact that is, well, slightly depressing because being on holiday is significantly better than being at work…but… I’m feeling refreshed, a little bit like I’m floating, and still full from New Years, crazy enough. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday – and is remaining optimistic about the start of a new year! As 2017 came to a ridiculously fast, but inevitable, and frankly highly anticipated end (not that 2017 was a particularly awful year, but I like the idea of a “new” start too), 2018 began with a strangely motivated Monica, who, whilst […]

Continue Reading

35.652832 | 139.839478

I spend the night restless, drowning in a canopy of fading light from the a lamp across the room, occassionally reaching over to read another chapter of the book tucked underneath the rough cotton sheet of the pillowcase. It’s stained in leftover foundation and flicks of mascara, reminisce of impromptu naps just before dusk. There’s a smell there if I adjust my head the right way, drop my neck and curl my body into a cocoon; a faint trace of menthol from cigarettes is burned into the strands of my hair and fibers of the fabric wrapped around me. I […]

Continue Reading

A Year in Review: The Confidence Project

At the beginning of this year I wrote down a checklist of things that I wanted to accomplish in 2017, something I’m sure no one is stranger too, as the start of the new year normally brings out our most idealistic selves. For the most part, I managed to accomplish the majority of my goals, as they were things I was either working towards, was in the midst of doing, or things I knew I would inevitably get done. Of course, that was no small feat – January 2017 Monica had very high expectations of herself, so as usual when […]

Continue Reading

6,819 Miles

It’s that time of year again, and despite finally being in an area that has actual seasons, which is something I’ve wished for after years of watching the most banal yet heartwarming holiday movies, I’ve found my limited holiday cheer is for the most part, already exhausted. My experience with the holiday season is complicated, and has been a bit less magical since I found out that there isn’t actually a fat man in red suit who tumbles down the chimney in the middle of the night to deliver gifts for my brother and I. The Santa Clause myth is […]

Continue Reading

7 Things to Know Before Coming to Korea

Thinking about spending some time on vacation in Korea or deciding on whether you want to take the plunge, pack up, and move here? I’ve been living in Korea for about six months now, and have started a list (which I will eventually end up adding to, as I’m still thinking of little things as I type this) of specific things you need to know before you come here. I tried to think of things that were a bit different from what I’ve found on other blog lists and came up with these seven. 1. Do not expect to find […]

Continue Reading