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An Affair with Food

17/05/2020

I wished, beyond anything, that this body I was confined to could be as easy to leave as anything else in my life. I felt that I was at a loss to win, and this inability to render my control left me as lonely as ever. I felt lonely especially because I couldn’t talk to anybody about it. If I tried I was met with rolling eyes and…

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Growing Up: A Delusion of Grandeur

06/05/2020

The myth of childhood told me that when I got older, I would innately gain some kind of understanding about the world that would allow me to move forward both productively and confidently.…

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How I Lost Myself in 2018

08/01/2019

I had this list in my head, it went something like: acceptance of others, meditation - things of that nature. It was a very easy-going new year's resolution list straight out of a women's magazine - nothing too crazy, nothing too "Eat, Pray, Love." But as I'm sitting here at my desk staring at this candle that has the phrase "Love Heals Every Body" printed across the front,…

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How to Survive Work

03/09/2018

Warning: This is a satirical piece. The author does not condone any of this behavior or practices. This was merely written as kind of a fun stress reliever that does have some pieces of truth throughout, but by no means is the author suggesting anyone should take all of the “advice” given. Build your scream chamber. Choose a place, a special place. This can be a quiet place,…

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The Kids Will Be All Right

12/08/2018

It’s been over a year. I think I’ve already clarified this, but I’m saying it again: it’s been one year, one trip around the sun, three hundred and sixty-five days plus. My summer vacation consisted of me bouncing around to different places; first Seoul, then Austin, then Newport, then back to Seoul before Jeju for another year (plus, plus). My time in America meant going back to my…

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On Language

01/07/2018

Language is an incredibly irritating thing. As a writer, I dedicate too much of my time to trying to find the right words. I'm constantly overthinking the placement of adjectives, verbs, and whatever else because I want to perfectly encapsulate a scene for my audience. I want to be able to present what's in my head as accurately as possible - describe a feeling, create something tangible from the intangible, make someone…

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Trials in Adulting

07/02/2018

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to be an adult. A real adult this time, like the kinds you see in crappy romantic comedies and those dramas on AMC like Mad Men or Suits. I was going to start writing in my planner, scheduling things, talking in a deep voice about really serious issues but then also talking really fast and using big words as if my…

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Seeking Passion

01/02/2018

I’ve been struggling with something lately, and while this may come as no real surprise because A) it’s the end of January 2018, and B) it has been snowing on and off for the last few weeks, I’ve still managed  to transition to a lesser version of myself: someone who sleeps half the day, then spends her nights lying awake staring at the ceiling. While the winter blues…

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物の哀れ (Mono no Aware)

17/01/2018

Looking back, I would have to say that I’m incredibly lucky. Lucky in a lot of instances, which considering my pessimistic personality, is something that I’m not quite used to. I don’t know why, but there’s still this part of me that likes to chip away at any smile I may have and repeat the phrase over and over: You don’t deserve this. My initial near-breakdown and nervousness…

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35.652832 | 139.839478

22/12/2017

I spend the night restless, drowning in a canopy of fading light from the a lamp across the room, occassionally reaching over to read another chapter of the book tucked underneath the rough cotton sheet of the pillowcase. It’s stained in leftover foundation and flicks of mascara, reminisce of impromptu naps just before dusk. There’s a smell there if I adjust my head the right way, drop my…