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Adventures in Disordered Eating

11/02/2021

At first, I was good. Walking excessively in Busan wearing my tourist shoes meant that I had little care about what I was eating nor the amount. But as the weeks came and went, that little person inside of me that whispered eat, eat, eat managed to take over. So I gave in. I ate bread - a huge trigger food for me. I laid in bed, defeated,…

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Travel far enough, you meet yourself.

09/01/2021

When I was younger, I was obsessed with everything that wasn't my immediate reality. Like most children, I dreamt of finding fairy circles deep in the woods, waking up one morning to find a letter on my desk inviting me to learn magic at some school far far away, or coming across a dragon egg while playing hide-and-seek on my friend's ranch. I even redecorated and painted my…

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An Affair with Food

17/05/2020

I wished, beyond anything, that this body I was confined to could be as easy to leave as anything else in my life. I felt that I was at a loss to win, and this inability to render my control left me as lonely as ever. I felt lonely especially because I couldn’t talk to anybody about it. If I tried I was met with rolling eyes and…

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Growing Up: A Delusion of Grandeur

06/05/2020

The myth of childhood told me that when I got older, I would innately gain some kind of understanding about the world that would allow me to move forward both productively and confidently.…

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How I Lost Myself in 2018

08/01/2019

I had this list in my head, it went something like: acceptance of others, meditation - things of that nature. It was a very easy-going new year's resolution list straight out of a women's magazine - nothing too crazy, nothing too "Eat, Pray, Love." But as I'm sitting here at my desk staring at this candle that has the phrase "Love Heals Every Body" printed across the front,…

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How to Survive Work

03/09/2018

Warning: This is a satirical piece. The author does not condone any of this behavior or practices. This was merely written as kind of a fun stress reliever that does have some pieces of truth throughout, but by no means is the author suggesting anyone should take all of the “advice” given. Build your scream chamber. Choose a place, a special place. This can be a quiet place,…

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The Kids Will Be All Right

12/08/2018

I felt strange. Not really a tourist or visitor, but feeling like one in my own city. Connected, but not necessarily, and really only just in the occasional situation, and occasional environment. I felt a bit fragmented like I had been unraveled and was desperately trying to piece myself back together, yet I was always missing a few bits, and I found that they were much more important than…

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On Language

01/07/2018

Language is an incredibly irritating thing. As a writer, I dedicate too much of my time to trying to find the right words. I'm constantly overthinking the placement of adjectives, verbs, and whatever else because I want to perfectly encapsulate a scene for my audience. I want to be able to present what's in my head as accurately as possible - describe a feeling, create something tangible from the intangible, make someone…

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Trials in Adulting

07/02/2018

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I was going to be an adult. A real adult this time, like the kinds you see in crappy romantic comedies and those dramas on AMC like Mad Men or Suits. I was going to start writing in my planner, scheduling things, talking in a deep voice about really serious issues but then also talking really fast and using big words as if my…

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Seeking Passion: When to Say “I Don’t Know”

01/02/2018

I’ve been struggling with something lately, and while this may come as no real surprise because A) it’s the end of January 2018, and B) it has been snowing on and off for the last few weeks, I’ve still managed  to transition to a lesser version of myself: someone who sleeps half the day, then spends her nights lying awake staring at the ceiling. While the winter blues…