“Where are you going, where have you been?”

Let me preface this post with a warning… I wasn’t going to post this. I didn’t want to. This reluctancy was born out of a need to convince everyone that everything is exactly as I say it is – fine. I’ll repeat that a dozen times until it sticks. I needed to convince myself of this. I wanted to fit into that perfect image I created of what my life in Korea would be like. It would be hard, yes, of course it would be. Moving abroad is inevitably a difficult thing to do, but the difference was I would […]

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Thoughts on Home

I’ve been a bit hesitant about writing this post, but it appears that I woke up strangely early this morning and now find myself in an empty cafe, hopped up on a bit too much coffee, relying on too little sleep, and, well – here we are. It’s been almost a month since I arrived in South Korea, and while I’ve yet to actually move in to my permanent residence (one more week!), this is essentially my home now, or at least, my home for the next year. Sometimes adding the time stamp makes this move feel less permanent, and […]

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Inside a Body

This flesh, they tell me that it’s mine. They point to me and spell out those words, their mouths forming long O’s and wide A’s. This flesh, if I tug at it, if I carve into it, if I dispose of it, will never escape me. It will grow with me, grow on me and spore. If I choose not to love it, they will not take it away. … I am addicted to this body and it is addicted to me. … “Bulimia doesn’t work,” she says, shrugs, then reaches over to dip a fry in the cup of […]

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Vagabond

First (she raises her left eyebrow a fraction upwards, the arch causing wrinkles to appear across her forehead) – suspend belief for a moment – this is what the woman across from her says, her hair draping down like a curtain to cover her face as she jots something down on the pad sitting in her lap. Think of something warm. Breathe in. Deeper. No, deeper than that. O frowns, then sits back farther into the couch cushions. Right now she’s pretending that everything she’s about to hear isn’t complete bullshit. She’s trying. She promises she’s trying. Count backwards from […]

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