Sometimes I think in the midst of writing resolutions and starving ourselves for the newest fad diets at the start of the year, we forget about those little moments, what those bits and pieces look like when tethered together just tight enough. We spend our time moaning about how horrible the year was, how this year will most definitely, definitely (just you watch!) be better, then make silly promises to ourselves and others just to hold a semblance of accountability.
I had this list in my head, it went something like: acceptance of others, meditation – things of that nature. It was a very easy-going new year’s resolution list straight out of a women’s magazine – nothing too crazy, nothing too “Eat, Pray, Love.” But as I’m sitting here at my desk staring at this candle that has the phrase “Love Heals Every Body” printed across the front, in all capital, all assaulting, all very, in-your-face letters, I’ve narrowed my list down to one thing. One aspiration. One dear-God please grow up now or I’m throwing the towel in: Stop looking for validation from men.
This wasn’t the immersive site-seeing type of trip like I had last year. It was more, let’s go shopping and wander through department stores until we forget how stressed work made us before this holiday, kind of trip. Anyway, I filmed (kind of), but as always, I was distracted by pretty things and didn’t film as much as I could have. I realized this kind of thing, though I’m not necessarily the best at it, is more so for me. I like having a visual diary of sorts.